A friend and follower (https://www.facebook.com/OBIDphoto) threw out the challenge of doing an urbex post about "the meaning of life". I accepted the challenge because I rarely back down from anything...but I will admit I wasn't sure where to go with it. That was 2 weeks ago.
Tuesday the 29th of January, my father passed away. His health had been up and down but only a week earlier the doctors had been planning his release from the hospital (and not in a pine box). His rapid down turn caught us all by surprise. I was always Daddy's girl. I look like him, have his personality, his sense of humor, his spark for life.
The weekend was a blur, Saturday-wake. Sunday-service, WHICH in typical family fashion couldn't go off without a hitch...my aunt fell, drama ensued, I narrowly avoided throat punching a girl who had the balls to get between my family and me. Monday-interment...again couldn't just go well. Dad was a big guy...the funeral home failed to communicate this with the grave diggers (who happened to be some of the happiest funniest guys I have ever met) and well...x+y=they didn't dig the grave wide enough and of course the Minister had to catch a plane so we had a grave side service only for dad to be moved, the backhoe brought out, and well...you can do the math.
As if that wasn't enough...I got home Monday night, my 1 yr old Pit-Lab mix got loose (which means she broke yet ANOTHER board on our fence) and ran away. I saw her go, and chased her in nothing but socks through 2 inch deep snow for 3 blocks until I caught her. I had no leash so I drug her home by her collar. When we got through the front door, my German Shepherd (who has been my BABY, my best friend, and my rock for almost 7 years) attacked the pit. My Shep has been battling cancer (just like my dad) and her health was going down hill fast. I didn't realize that she must have been in pain. I knew breathing was becoming labored but she was still mostly social. She grabbed my 1 yr old Pittie by the back end and shook her so hard she pulled her from my grasp. I tried to break it up and the Shep snapped at me. She then turned on my 20 week old Pit and I knew something huge had changed.
I couldn't bury my dad. I couldn't keep my dogs from tearing each other apart. I felt out of control.
We got my 1 yr old Pit girl to the emergency vet. I came home, gathered up my German Shep and had a few last moments here at home with her. I took her to say goodbye to my son, who was at a friend's house. My 2 best girls were here for me. One went with me to the vet and one picked my son up and brought him back to our house. I took my Shep-girl to the vet and held her until long after her heart had stopped...sobbing and remembering that less than a week earlier I had sat by my father's side as he took his last breaths. The last few days have been a bit of a blur...
...Then, today I sat down and decided, it was time to take on the challenge. If my images can't speak of life, love, death, and meaning...then what am I even doing with a camera in my hand?
So, here you have it.
The Meaning of Life (How to Truly Live) by Momma
It is easy to want revenge, and sometimes it may be sweet...but in the end those who hurt you are doing it because they see in you, things that lack in themselves.
Of the things that are most important to hold tight to, a sense of humor is one of the top. Life will throw you curve balls, bad situations, and horrible circumstances...when you can no longer see humor, you're in trouble.
Never take life too seriously.
Face your fears. Being underground in tunnels in the dark horrifies me but some of the most amazing moments would never have happened if I hadn't the trust or courage to follow through darkness.
Pain, true-real-gut wrenching pain, is crippling.
Sometimes we have to embrace it, own it, and let it take us to the depths.
Once you let the pain own you, you can in turn own the pain. And when you own it, you can begin to erase it, rebuild it, and mold it into a constructive force in your life.
And once you can turn pain into something positive, you have conquered it. And you will be stronger.
Use scarce times and hard moments to encourage you to bend yourself to the form that will help you continue to grow.
Define yourself. Define yourself by who YOU ARE. Never base your definition of who you are or who you can become on who someone else is in your life or sees you...because if they are meant to be in your life, they will simply supplement who you are on your own, not control you or change you.
Life isn't easy. Suck it up. CHOOSE to see the silver lining. Capture that lining and make it the frame for your next masterpiece.
Bet...on yourself. Then run your ass off so you come in 1st.
No matter who we are, how off the wall, we all have that ONE perfect counterpoint. Find your counterpoint and hold onto them. They get your weirdness, they accept your most insanely huge flaws and not only love you inspite of them, but because they make you who you are. Find that person and don't fuck it up.
CHASE YOUR DREAMS. And when you find them, take a moment to soak them in.
Be at awe of the force and beauty of nature and it's power.
FALL. IN. LOVE.
Even though it's scary. Even though its unknown. Even though sometimes it fails. Even though it can hurt.
And if it fails...fall in love again. And again. Never stop.
Use your brain. But let your heart make the final call because if everything is analytical; you will be empty inside the deepest parts of your soul.
We all struggle. Keep your head above water...and when you reach shore, you will be stronger.
Take the path less traveled and experience beauty and wonder no one else has...and if you are truly lucky, you will share those experiences with someone and those moments will remain in their heart.
It's the little things. It always has been and it always will be. The little things can create and can kill.
Have faith in something other than yourself...have faith in someone else. Know that those you have faith in may betray that faith and let you down but get back up and find faith again.
Find a place where your soul is at peace. When times are their worst go there, even if only in spirit.
Experience.
Hold those experiences close to the heart. Cling to the best and most amazing memories even if they are some of the most painful.
Notice that it is never too late to restore something that is truly meaningful. Things that are worth it, are rarely easy.
Look to the sky, it's hard to notice what is passing by with your eyes lowered.
Its not about what society says is beautiful, its about what opens your eyes. Life is about seeing the saddest, most broken, most hopeless moments in someone's life and holding onto the beauty left in them long enough to see them through to the moments that make them shine.
Read the words that are put in front of your face for a reason. Don't ignore them.
Expect the unexpected.
Laugh at inappropriate things.
When things don't make sense, look from a different view point. Suddenly, everything comes into focus and sometimes you realize you have been focusing on the wrong things.
Don't give up. If its worth doing or worth having, pause and keep repeating.
Take time to yourself but never let what seems like space to you, feel like abandonment to someone else who you want in your life.
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Sometimes we all break down, but that doesn't mean we're broken.
Know where you stand and what side of the fence you're on. If you know you're right, stand strong in your convictions.
Suck it up, breathe deep, and take the plunge.
Sometimes you have to get lost to find yourself.
Know the people who stand tall by your side. They might trip. You might trip. But a person who stands by you against all others is one who will be there through any storm.
Know why you do what you do. Have conviction.
Indulge.
Stop. Look. And absorb the beauty around you.
Be unique and love yourself for your uniqueness.
Find a place, take a moment, and steal away for a secret kiss...because those moments fuel the fire that will consume you in the most amazing ways. It is better to burn up in passion's flames than to freeze outside looking in the window longing to be held.
Take advantage of the moments life gives you. Do not let them slip through your hands.
Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of over coming it.
More than anything, listen. And when you listen, really hear.
The difference between listening to what is said, and hearing...is in understanding. If you choose to open your head, your heart, and your mind to the words another has to offer;
there is no limit to what heights you can together soar. Life is about communicating. Its about touching each other's lives. It's about coming in and staying in, about holding tight and not running at the first sign of hardship. Its about committing and proving to ourselves and others that the choices we have made were and continue to be worth while.
If we can not stand by our own convictions and our own choices, then we have failed ourselves and harmed others in the process and then the challenge lies in looking our true selves in the face.
So tell me...
~Momma
